This was the situation
that I found myself in a few months ago following my
mother’s death.
Here are a few tips that I have compiled to help you
to prepare your eulogy.
Before you start to write your speech take a break.
Think about what you want to say. If possible go for
a walk mull over what you would like to say. There are
a number of themes that come across in many funeral
speeches.
Life history -
this is a short summary of someone’s life. These
speeches are often fascinating as reveal a side to the
deceased that was not always known.
Tribute - this
brings out some of the highlights or achievements in
somebody’s life. This is the form adopted in many
obituaries in the newspaper.
Shared memories -
This is a personal insight not into the life of the
deceased, but of memories that you shared with them.
These are often very touching and are one of the easiest
to do.
Poem or reading -
there are plenty of examples of these on the Presentation
Helper website.
Legacy - this focuses
on their achievements and what they have left after
them - children, changed lives, completed projects.
The best example is on Christomer Wren tomb in St Paul’s
Cathedral- “reader if you require a monument,
look around you”
Jot down your thoughts and mull it through in your
own mind before you put pen to paper or start typing
into Microsoft Word.
To keep the impact of a speech - keep it short. Three
or five minutes will be enough to say what you have
to say. You will need to write it down and rehearse
to make sure that you keep to time. In presentations
and speeches - less if often more.
It is so easy when you have been through a bereavement
to focus on the death - and particularly the dieing
process. The final years may have been very bad -
and if you have been a carer this may have been very
hard. But for your tribute, you need to focus on the
better times, on the happy memories - on the life, and
not on the death. Everyone in the audience will already
be sad, let them take away a few happy memories.
It’s a myth that you should be able to stand
up and give a speech. Write down what you have to say.
Rehearsal really is key. Rehearse your speech out loud
at least four times. One of these should be in front
of an audience - a member of the family or a friend.
This is really tough as you will be against the clock
by now, but if you can put in the rehearsal time, you
speech will get much better. You will also have the
chance to fine tune it.
It is a very emotional time. You could very easily
become overwhelmed by emotion. If you have rehearsed
it will be much easier. Prepare to have someone on hand
to take over if you break down. This could be a member
of the family, a friend or even the priest. If you have
two copies of the speech, then they can take over and
say what you wanted to say. This will save the audience’s
embarresment as well as your own.
A funeral is a very emotional time. The chance is that
you may get emotional. But this is usual at a funeral.
Many in the audience will be in tears. They won’t
worry if you are.
If you are looking for a poem for your funeral speech then there are a large number of poems that have been posted on our discussion board.
We have also obtained permission to publish the Funeral Speech to Diana, Princess of Wales
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